Omelette Syndrome

“The Cleaners” will continue next week. Today let me tell you about something particularly interesting that happened to me this week. You see, I’ve been eating a lot of eggs lately. Poached, added to fried quinoa, and made into omelettes, these eggs have copious vitamin B-12 and, equally important, are delicious. I get them from the Raleigh Farmer’s Market where organic vegetables may be hard to come across, but ethically raised free-range animal products are readily available. The below eggs are from some special breed of chickens and, if you look very closely, they have a subtle green tint. The tint is subtle enough that I might not have noticed if I hadn’t been told, but apparently these eggs are very popular with customers, which supposedly makes up for the fact that the chickens that lay them are finicky and difficult to work with. For my part, I looked at the green eggs and told the vendor “I do not like them.” She looked surprised and told me she could get me normal eggs instead and I had to point out to her that I was Sam.

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In any case, I have been enjoying cooking with these eggs. They’re so easy and fast and versatile and delicious! Below is one of many omelettes I have made from Farmer’s Market eggs. This is a four-egg omelette with a filling of Tilamook cheddar and roasted vegetables and tofu. I roast the vegetables and tofu ahead of time to add them to many dishes. The dressing is Food Lion brand yellow mustard. Alice says I’m highly opinionated, and I disagreed until I realized I can make a reasoned argument for why mustard is the best condiment. It’s sugar-free and the coloring comes from turmeric so it has no artificial colors or flavors – just vinegar, ground mustard seed, salt, and turmeric. Delicious, gaily colored, and good minimally bad for you! Maybe I’m opinionated, but mustard is the best condiment. IMG_20150112_175626825

Here is a picture of poached eggs on top of roasted vegetables and tofu.

IMG_20150201_133027348Just a week ago, I started getting some unexpected tearing in my right eye. It happened multiple times a day for seemingly no reason. After three days I consulted some optometrist friends, and they couldn’t identify a cause, so I chose to ignore it and hope that it would eventually resolve itself.

Unfortunately, I had to work and conduct business while looking like the native American in the old anti-littering ads. I was always worried people would think I was crying, especially when my advisor was delivering me some bad news about some extra work I’d need to do. My co-worker Andy repeatedly apologized whenever he accidentally dropped a paper on the floor or missed a shot at the trash can. On Wednesday I was sitting in an empty room at the Unitarian Universalist Church waiting for someone to come to the intergenerational game night I’d organized and I worried that someone would come in and think I was crying from lonesomeness even though I was happily passing the time working on my computer. Good news: shortly afterwards a lovely family did arrive with their adorable daughter and we all had a great time.

Then on the sixth day, I bicycled into work and as I was locking up my bike I burst into a fit of sneezing. When I looked at my handkerchief, among the usual contents of a nose there was a large piece of omelette. From that moment forward, my symptoms ceased. One of my optometrist friends, Kelly, agreed with me that the omelette had most likely ended up in my oral-nasal passage during some recent breakfast, then managed to climb up into my right sinus, where it stayed, blocking my tears from draining properly and forcing them out into my eye, until I managed to sneeze it out. She also agreed that this event was patently bizarre. “LMFAO,” she said, “my advice to you, based on my experience in optometry, is to only figuratively inhale your breakfast from here on out.”

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6 thoughts on “Omelette Syndrome”

  1. Wow! What a story! I imagine that the Raleigh farmer’s market must have good produce available as produce comes into season… (or I would hope so). I’ve found that I’m very sensitive to sulfur contents in eggs. If an egg has a nice, thick shell and the chicken was fed well and aloud to move around, the egg is less sulfurous and I like the taste of the egg. If the shell is thin and the chicken was in a cramped coop with poor food, I hate the taste and smell of the resulting eggs. I’ve been eating lots of eggs recently. I’ve been enjoying “egg in a basket” with a slice of wheat bread.

    1. I haven’t been able to tell the difference, personally, but I also haven’t liked eggs before I started buying them from the Farmer’s Market, so I can believe that they’re better tasting and I certainly expect they’re better for your health and better ethically.

  2. I didn’t realize that there were actually green eggs. I have eaten green scrambled eggs, but they needed blue food coloring to achieve their connection to Dr. Seuss.

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