Learning Dvorak

On the 25th of February, Facebook halted its server expansion in North Carolina. A representative quoted a sudden drop in activity starting that morning as why additional capacity simply wouldn’t be necessary. “There’s this guy whose always posting Bernie Sanders articles and writing these long comments, and all of a sudden he’s slowed way down. If this is representative of a new norm, we may as well not move forward with our new infrastructure in the Triangle.”

Well, Facebook, it’s not that I’m giving up on Bernie Sanders articles and long comments. In fact, I’m gearing up to make my comments even longer! You see, I recently switched my keyboard layout. I switched from the inefficient and ergonomically unsound QWERTY layout to a layout known as Dvorak. Like learning almost any new skill, switching to Dvorak means I need to briefly give up being an expert typist.

This is a challenge that affects much more than simply Facebook, actually. I find that I speak very slowly when writing in chat windows. I worry that people will think that I am ignoring them when I am in fact simply typing very slowly a response that would earlier have taken me very little time at all. By far the hardest challenge is the password. Passwords are little challenging going into Windows, but at my work the UNIX password system shows no feedback whatsoever, not even those little dots, does not allow backspaces if I make a mistake, and to top it all off has a time limit. I can be right about to locate and type out the last letter of my password and the whole thing will exit on the assumption that I have wandered off, leaving me  start over from the beginning.

In any case, for a while I will no longer be able to write gigabytes of Facebook comments every second. I may struggle to even write a megabyte of Facebook comments each minute. So if you are concerned that I’m no longer writing and sharing a library’s worth of comment text and Sanders articles every few heartbeats, just wait till I’m used to Dvorak. Dvorak is optimized for efficiency. It will be so helpful to my typing speed and easy on my hands that you can take heart. Within a matter of months I should be able to exceed my QWERTY typing speed to the point that I can generate on Facebook text equivalent to the sum of all human knowledge as I inhale each breath, and a comparable quantity of shared Bernie Sanders articles complete with pithy quips on the exhale.

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