In Austin


Austin is green and beautiful. I am told this is not representative of Texas in general.

In Austin, the crows have big tufted tail feathers and calls like dot matrix printers. Also, they’re called grackles.


In Austin, the Quebecers dream of Raleigh. They ask for pictures of the Raleigh fried chicken they cannot have.


In Austin, everywhere is Zilker Park. Zilker Park is so huge that basically any wooded area in Austin is part of it.

In Austin, menus hold secret meanings. Torchy’s tacos is a tex-mex chain always on the favorite restaurants list in Austin. It has weird names on the menu like “the democrat.” At Keso taco house they desperately want to compete with Torchy’s, so they made their menu’s names even more incomprehensible. As it turns out, a native Austiner explained me that the menu items, rather than describing the food they referred to, represented activities available in Austin.


In Austin, Coca-Cola and Pepsi do not own the soda fountains. “Maine Root,” an Austin based company with no relation to Maine, instead manages them, and they are the most spectacular fountain sodas I have ever tasted.

In Austin, dogs have water fountains.


In summary, Austin is pretty weird. I may be going out on a limb here, but I think they should keep it that way.



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