Tag Archives: Weddings

I found this on the ground

On Saturday Morning, I dressed up in my best clothes. I put on my blazer, slacks, and brown dress shoes. Then I went into Alice’s room. She had just gotten out of bed, and hadn’t heard me approaching. When she turned, she shrieked in terror.

I got down on one knee, and reached into my blazer pocket, which was full of business cards. It was surprisingly difficult to get what I was grabbing at among all those cards, so I took them out and threw them on the ground. Then I reached in again and pulled out a lug nut.

“Alice,” I said, “I found this on the ground. It probably won’t fit your finger. Will you marry me?”

This lug nut was one of two that I had found on the ground on my walk to work, each on a separate occasion. Since it’s fun to attribute coincidences to the supernatural, I took this as a sign that they should serve as my rings. Interestingly, there was already precedent in our relationship for using stuff we find on the ground in romantic gestures. Maybe six months ago, Alice proposed to me with rocks that she had picked up on a trip we’d taken to Maine. I hadn’t been ready that time.

This time, though, we were both ready. Alice smiled and took the lug nut from my hand. “Yes,” she said.